The Stink Eye

People are just strange and they get stranger all the time. Today at work this parent dropping off their little one, before she even enters the room, totally gives me the stink eye. Some people would be offended and not continue to give this person the time of day, but not me. Huh uh, no way. In my eyes this is a golden opportunity to get to understand just exactly what their deal is and I don't care how weird they are. The weirder the better, I say. It's like a challenge for me,(how weird is that?) I have to peel back layers on people and let them know that regardless of their bizarre quirks that they are still valuable. That's right, I said it. So what. I'm a softy - I want to be everybody's friend,(not necessarily a bff, however) and the weird ones seems to be drawn to me anyway. So, in the words of the chick that sang that song in the movie Dreamgirls, "... and you and you and yooooou, you're gonna love meeeeee!"

Party of 4

Going to a restaurant with children is a brave undertaking. I am usually proud of the boys, (Matt included) but sometimes if the meal is taking an extra few minutes to arrive true chaos ensues and something is going down, usually some one's beverage.
My favorite thing (insert sarcasm) is when they seat you at a table & not a booth in the middle of the room for every one's entertainment. The tables are always smaller and they put so much stuff on the table, the sweetener box, the ketchup, the salt & pepper & of course no table would be complete without the small booklet of menu items that are already listed on the actual menu. The menus themselves are giant because they have to keep adding more "bad" yet delicious cholesterol inducing items in which to gorge ourselves with. I digress... so, everything that can be removed is set on the floor for the waiter/waitress to accidentally step on as they move around the table collecting the menus. Which is another awkward dining event - the menu return. I don't know why this is, but it's as if when presented with this seemingly simple task we just lose brain cells. Pass it to the person next to you or, er uh no give it to the waiter, oh no er, he's taking someone else's, give it to that person, no now he's reaching for it, ahhhh and done. Now we wait...
Ok, the waiter has brought us new drinks, cool... wait! Oh man he didn't take the old ones. Now we have more crap on the table. I need sweetener for my tea, oh great now I have all this freaking paper everywhere. Mmmmm, the chips and queso.. crunch, munch, crunch... oh great now we have empty glasses, paper and now the boys have dropped queso all the way from the bowl to their shirts. When is that waiter going to clue in that these empty glasses need to be taken? Queso's gone, we really mowed down those chips fast. Waiter is here, he's taking the empty plate but left this paper and the empty glasses! Oh, he's bringing Matt another drink, he takes his empty glasses but not mine. (Is there such a thing as table claustrophobia?) The boys are now asking us every second when the food will get there, regardless that we just stuffed our faces with queso and chips - they're STARVING! Now they are goofing around a little more, moving is never good. My cacophony of "sit still" begins and the moving continues a little more, uh oh and down goes the beverage all over the wrappers and napkins and laps. Cue the crying, cue Matt's growling that they should've listened to their mother, etc and so forth. The meals arrive on HUGE plates that barely fit on the table under good circumstances, need more napkins please, lots more. The waiter didn't bring our meals and now this person that I'm not familiar with and who is not familiar at all with our order is asking if everything looks ok. Well,of course it does and they leave... Oh, wait! Crap, I asked for cheese sauce instead of the red sauce - I forgot. Our waiter returns and asks the exact same question, yay, I can tell him it's WRONG. He's giving me a crazy look, never mind - this is great, everything couldn't be better. Kids eating, husband eating, me eating, and down goes another beverage all over a plate of food. WAITER! I think they should start announcing our arrival as the in house entertainment before seating this party of 4!

Catharsis

Catharsis; Webster's dictionary defines as an act of purging or purification; cleansing. How poingnant this word is for me right now. Writing is one way I purge and maybe I should be purging more often and start up my blogging again. I am a word nut, I have gained this obsession because I like to win at Scrabble, so I looked up catharis in my thesaurus (I have an actual thesaurus, not just the one in the Word program.). it says "see purification", the opposite of purification turns out to be contamination. Really, CONTAMINATION? Beacuse that is how I saw it- CONTAMINATION in bold capital letters.
Such an ugly word, but that is how I have felt and the irony is that when something is contaminated (if not treated) will spread eventually, contaminating everything around it. I will absolutely NOT let that happen any longer. Maybe I should write more on my blog. Maybe I need to get busy and take action purging, purifying, cleansing. I'm not a constant complainer and I know things can be worse but right now things SUCK! (Ahhhh, that was cathardic) Satan has been chipping away at my resolve (as he does with all of humanity), when things go wrong he throws more and more into the pot hoping eventually you will fall away from God. Why would God want all these bad things to happen, right? This is not going to work on me and I sometimes wonder why satan even bothers with me at all, I will only draw closer to God through difficult times. I have become quite stagnant, however, allowing this funk of contamination to envelope me until somedays I find it hard to breathe. Praying, check. Hoping, check. Praying harder, check. Getting up and doing something to purify and cleanse this junk off of me... well, I missed that one. How many ways can I be cathardic? Writing, laughing, crying, reading, exercising, cleaning my house, going over my goals, enjoying my kids, going on a date with my husband, just putting one foot in front of the other so that the contaminates don't have a chance to cling on to me. Get thee behind me satan, I'm leaving this funk back there with you where it belongs.

"Yours to Complete"

I got this one from Grannie Annie at "Fools Rush In" and thought it was a cute idea. She got it from a friend who got it from a friend, etc. If your reading this, feel free to complete the sentence with your own answers.



1.] How come I can never find: My husband in the grocery store. We go in together, and when I turn around he's disappeared. SO frustrating, especially if I have my hands full of something ready to place in the basket and he's absconded with it.

2.] I wish I'd never started: Watching reality tv. I get too caught up in these crazy people's lives.

3.] I wonder why: People text each other constantly even when they are in the company of others.

4.] Mama always told me: How much she loved me.

5.] There's this one thing in my closet that I just can't seem to get rid of: My Hooters costume. YEARS ago I was hired to work there and stayed for 2 days of training. When they told me I would have to debone chicken wings and work out everyday, I didn't return. I keep thinking I'll dress up as a Hillbilly Hooters girl for Halloween.

6.] My favorite guilty pleasure is: Eating alone without my kids around to ask me for a bite.

7.] I always forget to: put my cell phone where I can find it.

8.] I have never: had any desire to water-ski and I live in a state full of lakes.

9.] I'm obsessed with: running and getting in shape.

10.] One of my favorite memories is: Our family vacation last year in OKC. It was just so much fun.

Oldies but Goodies

Tim from Fort Thompson has started a new item for us bloggers called "Oldies but Goodies". I am to find an old post and repost it for any of you who haven't seen it. I chose "Not the Shy Sweet One" because I will be waking my little monsters up again for school soon and will inevitably be dealing with this at some point. It makes me laugh to remember this one, hope you get a smile from it too!






I know why parents lose their minds. I understand how the elderly get Alzheimer's, alert the scientists everywhere! If they can find a cure for their children so that they refrain from throwing temper tantrums and becoming possessed by unseen forces, then I'm sure that mental illness and old age mind loss will be a thing of the past. I'm starting to think that Alzheimer's is really just the parents way of getting back at their kids. (I realize this isn't the case and that it is actually a very serious disease, so don't write me about it... it's an attempt at humor)

So this morning I wake up with the intent that I'm going to actually make breakfast for everyone (in honor that my husband has the weekend off, very rare this time of year). I decide on blueberry muffins, because who doesn't like blueberry muffins? Well I'll try to reenact the morning:
Logan (the 9 yr old) is already awake and peacefully watching Saturday morning cartoons. I let the dog back in and she runs into Holden's room and I go in there because I was afraid she would wake him up.. too late, he's awake! Aw, my precious baby has his arms out to me and wants a hug to which I gladly give him. (sidenote: since he could talk, the 1st thing he has always said to us in the morning is "I'm hungry" ) So I gently pull him from his bed and I'm holding him when the inevitable is said: "I'm hungry". Well, since I actually have a plan for breakfast already I happily respond with "Mommy's making blueberry muffins!"
Holden: "I don't WAAAAAAAAAAnt blueberry muffins! I WAAAAAAAAAAnt something else"
Me: (calmly) "Well, that's what mommy's making."
Holden: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Me: (not as calmly) "Holden, that is what I'm making, you like blueberry muffins."
Holden: "NOOOOO IIIIIII DOOOOOOOON"T!"
Me: (Putting him down and walking out of his room) "I'm not listening to this, you get what you get and you don't throw a fit!"
Holden: (running after me and draping himself on my legs so I can't move) " I WAAAAAAAnt something else"
Me: (Yanking him off of me and sprinting into the living room) "Holden, you can't even tell me what you want and it doesn't matter because I'm making muffins."
Holden: " WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Me: (trying to ignore the tantrum but because I have pms I'm getting very annoyed and don't want to beat the child)
I begin to make the muffins...
Holden: "I don't waaaaaaant muffins, I waaaaaaant something else!"
Me: "If you keep this up we are not going to be able to get you signed up for t-ball."
Holden: (immediately the tears dry up and he perks up, looks to his brother who is enmeshed in the tv and is successfully blocking his little brother out)"Brother, I'm going to play t-ball! Brother... Brother..."
Me: "Answer HIM!"
Holden: (turning to me after he was satisfied with his brother's attention)"Please can I have something else?"
Me: "WHAT?"
Holden: "I want to show you."
Me: (taking a deep breath and giving in, why? Because I have pms and I need him to be quiet) "Holden, if you eat something else then you cannot have a muffin later." (I still have to enforce some sort of rule, right?)
Holden: (shows me he wants Golden Grahams)
I finish making the muffins while Holden happily eats his cereal. (or so I thought)
Muffins are done.
Holden: "Mom, I want a muffin."
I walk into where he's eating and only the milk is gone from the cereal.
Me: "I told you no muffin, go eat your cereal."
Holden: "I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnt a muffin!"

The story ends with sweet little Holden sitting on his bed in his room to think about how he treats his mother and me enjoying my blueberry muffins as God intended.
Holden still hasn't eaten the cereal or a muffin, so I can't wait to hear how hungry he'll be for lunch.

Oh, what to do?

I don't know what to do today, doo dah, doo dah, I don't know what to do today, oh a doo dah daaaaaay!

I'm running out of things to do with my children! School is starting VERY soon and I want to savor every minute with my kids before we have to go back to the real world. School starting means waking up at the break of dawn, exercising, getting lunches together, getting myself in the shower and getting all gussied up (for what?), waking up the kidlets, getting their breakfast and nagging them to eat and then nagging them to get dressed and brush their teeth. Making sure they have their all their school stuff, making sure I don't forget the car keys (which includes the house key because I don't know anything about getting us locked out of the house). Driving to school, going to work (which is another type of school- preschool) where I teach (babysit) 2 yr olds all day. Picking up from school, which means sitting in a friggin line 3 miles long because too many people live here. Homework (oh the horror!), dinner, clean up, showers, bedtime... and good lord - repeat the next day, etc and so on!
You see, I'm not too good at all that. I prefer the LAZY days of summer... wake up whenever the kids make me wake up. Fall out of bed, make their breakfast (if they eat, they eat if not they'll eat something else later) exercise (if I get around to it) do absoluetly nothing for a bit and then have fun with the kids the rest of the day. Well, we have been busy but it's an UNSCHEDULED kind of busy. Just a few more days of unscheduled bliss and then back to the ickiness of reality.
I really feel blessed to be able to spend time with my little guys and happy for all of it - I just don't want it to end... that's all!

True Friendship

I had the pleasure of going and visiting my best friend of 25 years over the weekend. 25 years! How can that be when I still feel like that teenager that just met her. Her name is Chelle and she is wonderful. I left there with an understanding of what true friendship means and not because we've known each other so long but because we truly love each other. You can know someone for years and not have a bond with them. A true friend is someone who, regardless of what they get out of it, wants the other's happiness as much as their own. Seeing Chelle and her home, her husband and her children made me over the moon happy for her. Seeing how creative she is, sewing and decorating her home doesn't make me jealous... it makes me proud to know her. When I tell people about her and how long we've been friends, they often ask how we managed to remain so close. My answer - because neither of us has any expectation of the other except to just be who they are. We accept each other and wouldn't dream of changing a thing. (We're both pretty cool the way we are!)
Chell, if you happen to get this, thank you so much for everything... food and of course - your company. I love you!

La La Land

It struck me today that there is are 2 different places in the mind of living. There is the place that you dream of, where everyone smiles at you, everyone understands what it is you're trying to communicate with them. No one cuts anyone off in traffic, people hold doors open for each other and children respect adults. I call this place La La Land. I often think that my problem is that I live there sometimes. The other place is called reality! I don't know if times are just changing so much that it keeps us from reaching out to each other but something's odd. Holden plays T-ball and I remember thinking to myself, (before we began) "Hey, here's a chance to make some friends." But the reality is that when you talk to people they sort of look at you like you're speaking a new language. I also noticed that if I didn't make the effort no one would speak. Everyone is in their own little world and it seems like they're afraid to let anyone in for fear it will interrupt their existence. I do this on purpose now... I wait a little to see if anyone will approach another and when the silence in the room is so thick I can't breathe I will be the one to release everyone from their bondage. I can't stand it! I want everyone to live life and get out of their comfort zones. You never know who you are going to meet or why you're there in that group or place. I want everyone to know that you may feel far from perfect and not think you're going to fit in or say the "right" thing, but screw that! No one says the right thing most of the time and everyone should just relax, forget about what others think and just BE!
Hell, I have PMS and I'm way too emotional about everything. I could just be really annoying and no one wants to talk to me!

Here I blow again...

Blow smoke that is, chat, vent or gab. Anyway you put it, I'm back. First, I just want to say I appreciate everyone that missed me or asked where I was. Nothing was wrong or anything. I just honestly took a break. It's been busy and I really haven't had time to blog. Matt's work schedule was pretty hard on all of us and I won't lie and say I didn't have a difficult time of it - it was getting rough. But we made it through and are no worse for the wear. Truthfully, (and I think I've mentioned this before) it gives me an appreciation that I'm not a single mom or that my husband is in the military and has to be away for months or years at a time. God bless all of them. They truly have my respect!
I'm happy about a couple of different things, 1. School is almost out!!! I'm not one of those mom's that relishes kids being away at school. I'm actually probably as bad as they are about not wanting to get out of bed and doing all that needs to be done to have a successful day. Such as making breakfast, making lunches, setting out clothes, brushing teeth, repeating all these things that need to be done about 75 times and wanting to pull out all of my hair by the time we leave. Besides, as fast as these boys are growing, I just want to be with them as much as I can.
2. Watching Holden play T-ball has been so much fun. (aside from the tantrums and driving and rain that has cancelled most of the games) Holden is really into it and good at it too. He actually seems to take it seriously and he's only 4. One of the other boys was trying to joke around with him and he was having none of it. I was afraid he was going to push the kid down because he wouldn't let Holden concentrate on the next play. So funny! And man can this child run! It's funny to hear someone ask "Who's kid is number 10?" and with a huge grin I reply,"That's my baby!" Yeah, I'm one of those moms. It the same way with Logan's comedic nature. When he makes someone laugh it makes me feel good about who he is, not to mention how freakishly smart he is. Which is probably the reason he's so funny.
Oh and last but not least, because Matt's hours have gone back to normal I have made it back into the gym. I love working out, it makes me feel so much better! I still have a way to go but at least I'm going!
So, I have a lot of catching up to do with everyone else's blogs, so I better get to it!

A Little Breathing Room

Well, I'm sitting here writing this ALONE! My husband had to work today because it is still tax season and since he is a trust tax accountant, he works ALL the time. This too shall pass... He misses his boys and I know it's hard on him but since he is missing his boys I get the true pleasure of being their one and only person to meet each and every need as well as keeping up with laundry, dishes, daily messes made, working, the school's yearbook, the pre-school projects... did I mention laundry, oh right... well let me re-mention it because it NEVER ends! I've often joked that there are times when I want to set it on fire but the matches have never looked more appealing than they do right now. I digress...
So here I sit, alone, all alone and the silence has never sounded so sweet. Matt came home around 4:00 and took off with the boys for a bit.
I have so much respect for families that have to endure this single parent stuff a whole lot longer than I do. I appreciate Matt's presence so much more when I don't have him here to keep the boys busy while I do stuff around the house or if I want to venture off to the bookstore and veg-out for a bit. I have a story to share and I hope no one judges me (like I care) but I have to share because it's a tribute to my mom Elaine.
The other day after Holden's T-ball practice he had the mother of all melt-downs and so did I. I actually officially channeled Elaine. When I was younger, all my mom had to do was purse her lips and show her clenched teeth while a demon briefly possessed her (it was in her eyes, believe it!) her voice became this low growl and most of the time if I valued my life I stopped whatever I was doing. Only when I turned 13 did I ever push her past that but we won't get into that now.
Anyhow, my precious son Holden after playing T-ball for over an hour didn't think he had had enough fun so he persisted that he wanted to shoot hoops.(we were in a gymnasium because of the weather) Well, I was done and I needed him to mind because I was so tired, exhausted! It went a little like this:
Holden: (wailing)"I want to shoot hoooooops! "
Me: "You just played T-ball and that's that. We're not here to shoot hoops, now come on!" I go after him...
Holden: (running away from me wailing louder with everyone else still trying to leave) "Just one more hooooooop! Pleeeeeeeease!"
Me: (running after him) "If you don't get over here right now then you won't be able to go to practice next time!"
Holden: (still running away from me towards the basketballs and throwing himself on top of one) Pleeeeeeeeease, I just want to make a hoooooooop!)
Me: (grabbing him and trying to hold his hand and pull him up without success) "Get up RIGHT NOW!" (I start walking off because he will usually come after me but not this time!)
So, I finally get him to follow me a little but whenever I turn around to get his hand he pulls it away and runs a little bit in the other direction. I then have to literally pick him up and carry this little wailing human being out the door while I yell at my other son to come on. (Who isn't doing anything to deserve my wrath but faithfully without making anymore trouble for me follows quietly.) I proceed to put Holden in the car and fasten his seat belt to which he (as quickly as he can) unfastens it and pushes on the car door so I can't close it. I try to as calmly as I can (which truthfully wasn't very calm) put him back in his seat and fasten his seat belt again to which he AGAIN unfastens it and pushes me away. Oh and I didn't mention the screaming bloody murder the whole time "I want to shoot hoooooooops!" So I'm sure we weren't drawing attention our way or anything. I think he unfastened his seat belt another time but this is where it gets a little fuzzy because at this point I feel the same demon that possessed my mom begin to take shape inside me. My teeth began to clench as I held him down to fasten the belt one more time and lock the door behind me and then the worst happened... He unlocked the door and tore himself out of his seat and opened the door trying his best to escape. And the beast arose within me... I channeled Elaine's demon. I no longer recognized my own voice. It became very low and gravelly - almost a growl. I couldn't see anything but the smoke pouring out of my ears and everything went dark. The beast spoke for me and as my body put Holden back in his seat and fastened his seat belt for the last time I heard the beast say "YOU WILL NOT TREAT YOUR MOTHER THIS WAY!!!"(pause for breath) "DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WILL NOT DO THIS TO ME!!! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE HUMILIATED AND YOU WON"T DO THIS EVER AGAIN OR YOU WILL BE SORRY!!!"
And all was quiet. Holden stayed in his seat, whimpering but he stayed put. I don't think Logan knew what to think. I've been angry with him too but I don't think the beast ever took over with him. The beast left as soon as it had come and I just kept thinking about how even more angry I was that he had made me turn into my mom. The whole ride home no one uttered a word. When Matt called to see how practice went I was still seething because I didn't want to turn into Elaine! I described to him the horrific events from just minutes before and handed the phone to Logan who (bless his heart) tried as best he could describe it himself but I think he chose to block it out so I made Holden talk to him. He wouldn't at first but with reluctance took the phone after I made it clear that he could either talk to his dad then or I would wake him up in the middle of the night to talk to him. (at that point I totally would have done just that). After his phone conversation he gently apologized to me and gave me a hug and kiss. I in turn explained to him that he really won't do that to me again or he wouldn't play T-ball period. Needless to say he has been pretty good! I suppose there are times that instead of fighting the beast letting it take over will at least buy you a few minutes of quiet.
So you may judge me and think I'm nuts but I don't care. This is why I am enjoying this time to myself so hopefully I can keep the beast from ever rearing it's ugly head again. Well, at least for a few years. I'm not promising I won't turn into my mom again. I tried that already and apparently you really do turn into your parents. I wonder if I should warn the boys now before they become teens? Nah!

Updates

-Prayers were answered for me in regards to the little one I posted about yesterday. Not completely out of the woods with this, but a huge relief today!
-Prayers were answered for my sister who had serious complications from pneumonia and now she is doing so much better. Had a CAT scan done and it came back that she was healing nicely!
Amen! Thanks everyone!

Hard Day

Today was an exceptionally hard day. I have a beautiful little girl in my class and I'm afraid for her. I won't go into any details or give her name because I'm sure that would not be the right thing to do in order to protect her privacy. I would just like some additional prayer for her in general that God protects her and gives her some peace. It prompted me to rewrite this poem I had written a long time ago.

Children are the innocent and pure.
They are the beginning and the future.
With just one smile sorrow does not exist.
With their laughter, joy is impossible to resist.
They have no expectations or a heart that's unforgiving.
Their love is unconditional and they give it without questioning.
They've come straight from Heaven to live on this earth.
A miracle from God, His gift is their birth.
A precious child is a gift beyond measure.
Someone to love, to protect and always treasure.

God Bless!

It's A Lizard!

There are moments that come along when you realize how much you LIKE your children. I will always love them and that could never change but genuinely liking who they are is a blessing. You have to be able to pay attention to these moments when they come along because if you don't you will miss something precious.
Yesterday it snowed like crazy here and it came down beautifully with huge snowflakes and lots of them. I opened the blinds so the boys could see it and while I was in the kitchen making breakfast, Holden runs in...
Holden - "Brother, brother, it's a lizard out there! Brother look at the lizard! BROTHER, it's a lizard, it's a lizard!" (I thought I would have to get Logan's attention because he has a tendency to block out his little brother's rantings, but no...)
Logan -(without laughing, without talking down to him, gently corrects him without skipping a beat) "No, it's a Buh, buh, Blizzard. Not lizard."
Holden - "Brother look at the Buhlizzard, look at the blizzard!"

As I was listening to this I just realized what a patient and loving big brother Logan is and at that moment I really liked him. And I really liked Holden for looking up to him and being patient as he was corrected, not minding one bit.
Moments to treasure and savor because it won't be long until I'm yelling at both of them to stop fighting and be kind to each other!

Move Over Derek Jeter!

Holden had his 1st T-Ball practice last night and I'm kicking myself that I didn't bring my camera, next time for sure. It was the cutest and funniest time. I forgot how much fun it was to watch your child's very 1st experience with team sports. You can tell right away which ones have it and which ones don't and I'm not bragging, but Holden has it! When I watched Logan play for the 1st time I just knew that team sports probably wasn't going to be his thing. He also played soccer and played as if he was being put out to have to run up and down to get a ball. He was fine with just watching the other boys do whatever they had to do to score a goal. He would however, celebrate with them as if he had been a big part in it. (I love that kid)Since then he has really liked playing golf so hopefully we can still keep him out of trouble with some sort of activity. Holden, on the other hand will more than likely be trying to fit in any sport he can. Gosh he was so cute. Running the bases as fast as his little legs would take him. Batting as a "lefty" it was funny because the coaches would put him on the wrong side of the plate and he would swing backwards! I don't know how many times Matt or myself would shout out "he's a lefty!". They'll get it eventually. Since this is my second time around I had fun listening to the parents who were having their 1st experience with it. Some of them would be hollering at thier child, "Pay attention!" or "Go get the ball". I had one parent make the comment to me, "I just know he's going to be picking clover." with this exasperatted look on her face. I wanted to say "Geez lady, he's only 4! You'll be lucky he only picks the clover and doesn't try to eat it or take handfuls of it and put it on top of his hair!" I can't wait for the 1st game, I'm so gonna watch and see him picking away and then I'm so going to wait for her reaction. Is that wrong?

Politics? Wasn't going to go there, but...

OK, I never intended to use this blog to vent about politics. However, right now I'm thinking that our country needs prayer. I believe that it doesn't matter what is going on with the economy or wars, or anything else because God has a plan and everything works according to His purpose. The thing is, (and maybe I just need to relax knowing that fact) I have never felt this way before about a certain direction that any administration was taking us but things are not sounding good to me. I've always been a Conservative but even when Clinton was president (because I was also old enough then to pay attention) I didn't feel this unsure or worried. I keep hearing unsettling statements being made by this administration such as "global currency" and changing the names of everything that "sound" too "negative". Like we're not calling the terrorists "terrorists" anymore? They're changing "The Global War on Terror" to "Overseas Contingency Operation" - are you kidding me? I for one am personally offended by this. They ARE terrorists and our brave men and women have been fighting for our country and dying on behalf of the "War on Terror". The same terrorists that flew planes into the World Trade Center, killing so many people without any conscious what-so-ever... and we don't want to offend them or what?
Didn't Hitler create mandates on what people were allowed to say and how they said it? It started out slowly and then snowballed into a nightmare. Isn't communism all about a huge government and telling everyone how to live their lives and making everyone feel dependent on them?
I am comforted in the fact that no matter what, God is the same now and forever. He has this in the palm of His hand. This is all happening because it is supposed to and I will be praying that we as Americans will recognize what is happening, fight for our beliefs and have faith that will get us through.

Praying

This little one needs prayer so desperately. I am passing this along to everyone I know even though I don't know this family personally. If this were my child I would hope that everyone that could would be on their knees. Apparently this precious baby had terrible heart difficulties in the womb and wasn't expected to live but was born a healthy baby with faith and prayer. He is having the same trouble now and is very critical. I keep pulling up different blogs I read that are either friends of the family or just follow their blog and I can't put this off just because I don't know them. So I am praying and encourage you to do the same if you read my blog. God Bless.

Barry Manilow - Eat Your Heart Out!

Logan and Holden are song writers, they write the songs that make the whole world sing!

The Boys riding in the car: "The knee bone's connected to the eyelid bone, the eyelid bone's connected to the intestines (pronounced intestEEns), the intesteens' connected to the cranium, the cranium's connected to the flatulence bone... and the beat went on ALL THE WAY HOME.

Gotta love it!

What I've Been Up To

It always amazes me that when someone asks me what I've been up to, I simply say "Nothing really", when that's not "really" true. I was thinking about this after bunco last night because I only see most of those ladies once a month. I've figured out that I don't like talking about myself too much and would just rather listen to other people's stories and make comments here and there. So this is what I've been up to lately and I'm proud of it. I figured since I don't enjoy talking about myself, then I will use this opportunity to give God the glory because He is changing my heart.
I have recently helped start up our church's youth group by becoming a youth group sponsor. My duties are to come up with games for the whole group and head up the mid-high girls small group. I am having a blast with these girls! We go over the week's message which is the same for the adults but changed up so that the kids can get a grasp on it. After our Youth Leader, Evan (who is so adorable, he's only 18 years old and is one of the neatest people you'd ever meet) speaks on the morning's message. I then take the girls and we just have a girls' heart to heart. I lead it by asking questions and talking about my own experiences. I really think they enjoy it too. I even had one girl make her mom get out of bed to come to church because she wanted to come to youth group! Praise Jesus! I spoke to this girl's mom's best friend and she told me that she had been trying to get her friend to come back to church and just wasn't having any luck until youth group started. When she told her that we had a youth group, she decided to bring her daughter and try it out. That next Sunday she was being pulled out of bed by her daughter to go to church! How amazing God is! The reason I'm so excited is because I wasn't a fan of church myself for awhile. I had no desire to go and be surrounded by people I viewed as hypocrites. My heart was hardening but I read this book called "The Shack" and something inside changed. I still wasn't ready for "church" but I knew that God loved me no matter what I was or where I was in my faith. For the 1st time I had "permission" just to be where I was. It was like a weight had been lifted. I knew that there would be a time for me to get back into church and when I got a flyer in the mail for a new church that was just in it's beginning stages I knew that was where I needed to be. Something small. Well, after our 1st visit I knew in my heart that God placed me there for a reason.
I have a testimony of 2 different reasons for wanting to be a part of the youth, the 1st is because when I went to church at that age it was not a pleasant experience. I always thought that church was supposed to be the one safe place for a person to be. That's not always the case though. Girls can be mean anywhere and they were. I didn't have any real friends in church. I'm hoping I can be that voice for the girls in my group when or if (probably when) it comes down to who said what about who, etc. to diffuse the situation and put things into perspective for them. The second reason is that my nephew had an awful thing happen in his school where 3 different children took their own lives and one of them was a friend of his. It broke my heart to think that a 13 year old would result to that and it could have been prevented if someone talked to them about God and His love for them.
God is amazing because I never would have dreamed in a million years that when I was feeling isolated in my youth group that I would one day lead a group of girls in a youth group. Wow!
Matt, my husband will be joining and leading the boys when he is done working so many hours. That will also be nice to be able to do that together.

The Big Smelly Rat

This is what my son Logan called Chuck E. Cheese when he was 3 and he was not fond of him at all. Now he is 9 and well over that but the nickname stuck and that's what we all still call him. So when I spoke up yesterday and said we could go see The Big Smelly Rat, excitement was in the air. I had this coupon for the place or I would never have suggested it because I'm not a huge fan and as I tell the story you'll know why. (if you don't already) So the coupon was buy 40 tokens for $10 and you get 40 tokens free! Woo hoo! So how long does it take for 2 boys to blow 80 tokens? 4 HOURS!
Time is a funny thing in a place like this... it seems to evaporate. I couldn't believe we had been there that long, although I was truly done with it by the time the tokens began to run out. I was still holding both the boys tokens, why you ask? When they are old enough to hold their own damn cups? Because they kept spilling them everywhere and I got tired of stopping to pick them up and bending over to look under the machines because they were sure that one or two of them rolled underneath. The boys did have a great time and it made me very happy that I could find something cheap to do that would keep them busy and happy for that long. All the games only take 1 token each. (no wonder we were there 4 hours!) But it is nice that they don't have to motor through so much money as fast like the some of the other places. The problem comes when they are down to their last token (Oh no!) and have to make one of the biggest decisions of their young lives - what game is worth my very last token? Well, Logan decides on Skee Ball (one of my favorites) which was fine until he only got 2 tickets off the game. Logan - "Oh great, my last token and all I got was 2 crummy tickets!" Me - (holding about 300 tickets already) "Hello, can we just be happy that we came here, we've been here all day!"
Holden chose a bowling game that he became very fond of. Well by this time the place was packed and I was so ready to leave that I was doing the happy dance in my mind at the notion that this was it, the last token! So at this point we were waiting in line for this bowling game and Holden was next after this little girl. Well her little sister comes running up to her as she was finishing up. She was probably about Holden's age (4) and she was hovering there as her sister finished the game and slides in right in front of Holden. Oh, hell to the no she didn't! I'm telling you I almost became one of those parents that make headlines "Mom attacks 4 year old child over a line cutting incident at Chuck E Cheese." I could envision my mugshot as I sat there holding myself back from taking action. Well, karma worked in my favor because as she slid in and put her token in the machine she couldn't get it to work so she runs off to find her dad and in that moment Holden who wastes no time himself jumped up and put in his LAST token and started the game. (That's my boy!) So the dad comes back with her and I just calmly state that Holden was in line next and she could go after him. He was clueless so Holden finished his game with The Hoverer hovering over him as he played. He seemed fine with it so there was no need for me to intervene at this point. I was just satisfied that she didn't get her way the 1st time. Terrible? Maybe but that's the way I felt and I stand by it. I don't care how old she is!
So now you know why this isn't my favorite place. Children running amok, taking over and parents, most of whom are oblivious that their children are little bullies. Not all of them, I know. Mine are perfect! Ha, at least I believe they are! They may not be "perfect" but they are damn close. I have to say, I was very impressed at Holden, who was gracefully allowing the brat to take his place in line(until she botched it - ha ha). He showed much more tolerance than I, that's for sure!

2009 To Do List

#4 states that I will do a better job of keeping in touch with people I love, well get ready people - here I come!

#6 states that I will care less about what others think of me, this includes all you people that I'm going to keep in touch with. I'm tired of technology robbing me of relationships. I do love Facebook only because it allows me to keep in touch with people that don't live in my town. I'm not going to text because it's just another way I will never hear your voice. (and I don't care if you don't agree!) Because I'm following my list! It is written in ink ya know!

#3 states that we will do something new as a family and I realized I never blogged about this for February and we're already in the middle of March!

We went to a hockey game, all four of us, which makes it "new" because we haven't all gone together. It was fun, a little strange at times and a little worrisome at one point. The strange part... let me just say that it amazes me that when they build million dollar arenas and charge exorbitant amounts for tickets, they don't consider that when they put the seats right on top of each other how uncomfortable it can be sitting next to a complete stranger and being forced to become their best friend for the duration of the event. I understand that it's all about money to them and the more seats they can cram in then the more money they can squeeze out of the public. Seriously though, just give me 2 more inches so I can breathe.
When we 1st got there it was great, no one was sitting next to me for the whole 1st period. Then... dun, dun, dun, dun, duuuuun here come the space invaders! There were 3 of them and of course the one with all the food (and condiments I might add) sits right by me. I could hear everything, every bite he took, every chew. I could smell everything and see it too and I'm not sure what condiment he chose for his burger topping but it looked like a gelatinous mess. Anyhoo, as I made references to the game he would add his in too. Don't misunderstand me, I'm a friendly person and he was nice and all and if there were just 2 more inches between us I would've have been more receptive but because he took my other arm rest I was being a bit more selfish. The worrisome part... someone in the stands required emergency medical attention and was being given CPR for a very long time. We never heard anything else about it and after they finally got the person stable enough to take out on the stretcher the game went on as if nothing happened. Whoever it was probably could've used an extra 2 inches of space, I'm just sayin.
We'll see what is in store for March, it's so hard with Matt working 80-90 hrs a week.
Well, this is the 3 I'm concentrating on for the moment and when I get well I'll get to some of the other stuff and post about it too. Lots of love to everyone!!!