Catharsis; Webster's dictionary defines as an act of purging or purification; cleansing. How poingnant this word is for me right now. Writing is one way I purge and maybe I should be purging more often and start up my blogging again. I am a word nut, I have gained this obsession because I like to win at Scrabble, so I looked up catharis in my thesaurus (I have an actual thesaurus, not just the one in the Word program.). it says "see purification", the opposite of purification turns out to be contamination. Really, CONTAMINATION? Beacuse that is how I saw it- CONTAMINATION in bold capital letters.
Such an ugly word, but that is how I have felt and the irony is that when something is contaminated (if not treated) will spread eventually, contaminating everything around it. I will absolutely NOT let that happen any longer. Maybe I should write more on my blog. Maybe I need to get busy and take action purging, purifying, cleansing. I'm not a constant complainer and I know things can be worse but right now things SUCK! (Ahhhh, that was cathardic) Satan has been chipping away at my resolve (as he does with all of humanity), when things go wrong he throws more and more into the pot hoping eventually you will fall away from God. Why would God want all these bad things to happen, right? This is not going to work on me and I sometimes wonder why satan even bothers with me at all, I will only draw closer to God through difficult times. I have become quite stagnant, however, allowing this funk of contamination to envelope me until somedays I find it hard to breathe. Praying, check. Hoping, check. Praying harder, check. Getting up and doing something to purify and cleanse this junk off of me... well, I missed that one. How many ways can I be cathardic? Writing, laughing, crying, reading, exercising, cleaning my house, going over my goals, enjoying my kids, going on a date with my husband, just putting one foot in front of the other so that the contaminates don't have a chance to cling on to me. Get thee behind me satan, I'm leaving this funk back there with you where it belongs.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Friday, August 7, 2009
"Yours to Complete"
I got this one from Grannie Annie at "Fools Rush In" and thought it was a cute idea. She got it from a friend who got it from a friend, etc. If your reading this, feel free to complete the sentence with your own answers.
1.] How come I can never find: My husband in the grocery store. We go in together, and when I turn around he's disappeared. SO frustrating, especially if I have my hands full of something ready to place in the basket and he's absconded with it.
2.] I wish I'd never started: Watching reality tv. I get too caught up in these crazy people's lives.
3.] I wonder why: People text each other constantly even when they are in the company of others.
4.] Mama always told me: How much she loved me.
5.] There's this one thing in my closet that I just can't seem to get rid of: My Hooters costume. YEARS ago I was hired to work there and stayed for 2 days of training. When they told me I would have to debone chicken wings and work out everyday, I didn't return. I keep thinking I'll dress up as a Hillbilly Hooters girl for Halloween.
6.] My favorite guilty pleasure is: Eating alone without my kids around to ask me for a bite.
7.] I always forget to: put my cell phone where I can find it.
8.] I have never: had any desire to water-ski and I live in a state full of lakes.
9.] I'm obsessed with: running and getting in shape.
10.] One of my favorite memories is: Our family vacation last year in OKC. It was just so much fun.
1.] How come I can never find: My husband in the grocery store. We go in together, and when I turn around he's disappeared. SO frustrating, especially if I have my hands full of something ready to place in the basket and he's absconded with it.
2.] I wish I'd never started: Watching reality tv. I get too caught up in these crazy people's lives.
3.] I wonder why: People text each other constantly even when they are in the company of others.
4.] Mama always told me: How much she loved me.
5.] There's this one thing in my closet that I just can't seem to get rid of: My Hooters costume. YEARS ago I was hired to work there and stayed for 2 days of training. When they told me I would have to debone chicken wings and work out everyday, I didn't return. I keep thinking I'll dress up as a Hillbilly Hooters girl for Halloween.
6.] My favorite guilty pleasure is: Eating alone without my kids around to ask me for a bite.
7.] I always forget to: put my cell phone where I can find it.
8.] I have never: had any desire to water-ski and I live in a state full of lakes.
9.] I'm obsessed with: running and getting in shape.
10.] One of my favorite memories is: Our family vacation last year in OKC. It was just so much fun.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Oldies but Goodies
Tim from Fort Thompson has started a new item for us bloggers called "Oldies but Goodies". I am to find an old post and repost it for any of you who haven't seen it. I chose "Not the Shy Sweet One" because I will be waking my little monsters up again for school soon and will inevitably be dealing with this at some point. It makes me laugh to remember this one, hope you get a smile from it too!
I know why parents lose their minds. I understand how the elderly get Alzheimer's, alert the scientists everywhere! If they can find a cure for their children so that they refrain from throwing temper tantrums and becoming possessed by unseen forces, then I'm sure that mental illness and old age mind loss will be a thing of the past. I'm starting to think that Alzheimer's is really just the parents way of getting back at their kids. (I realize this isn't the case and that it is actually a very serious disease, so don't write me about it... it's an attempt at humor)
So this morning I wake up with the intent that I'm going to actually make breakfast for everyone (in honor that my husband has the weekend off, very rare this time of year). I decide on blueberry muffins, because who doesn't like blueberry muffins? Well I'll try to reenact the morning:
Logan (the 9 yr old) is already awake and peacefully watching Saturday morning cartoons. I let the dog back in and she runs into Holden's room and I go in there because I was afraid she would wake him up.. too late, he's awake! Aw, my precious baby has his arms out to me and wants a hug to which I gladly give him. (sidenote: since he could talk, the 1st thing he has always said to us in the morning is "I'm hungry" ) So I gently pull him from his bed and I'm holding him when the inevitable is said: "I'm hungry". Well, since I actually have a plan for breakfast already I happily respond with "Mommy's making blueberry muffins!"
Holden: "I don't WAAAAAAAAAAnt blueberry muffins! I WAAAAAAAAAAnt something else"
Me: (calmly) "Well, that's what mommy's making."
Holden: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Me: (not as calmly) "Holden, that is what I'm making, you like blueberry muffins."
Holden: "NOOOOO IIIIIII DOOOOOOOON"T!"
Me: (Putting him down and walking out of his room) "I'm not listening to this, you get what you get and you don't throw a fit!"
Holden: (running after me and draping himself on my legs so I can't move) " I WAAAAAAAnt something else"
Me: (Yanking him off of me and sprinting into the living room) "Holden, you can't even tell me what you want and it doesn't matter because I'm making muffins."
Holden: " WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Me: (trying to ignore the tantrum but because I have pms I'm getting very annoyed and don't want to beat the child)
I begin to make the muffins...
Holden: "I don't waaaaaaant muffins, I waaaaaaant something else!"
Me: "If you keep this up we are not going to be able to get you signed up for t-ball."
Holden: (immediately the tears dry up and he perks up, looks to his brother who is enmeshed in the tv and is successfully blocking his little brother out)"Brother, I'm going to play t-ball! Brother... Brother..."
Me: "Answer HIM!"
Holden: (turning to me after he was satisfied with his brother's attention)"Please can I have something else?"
Me: "WHAT?"
Holden: "I want to show you."
Me: (taking a deep breath and giving in, why? Because I have pms and I need him to be quiet) "Holden, if you eat something else then you cannot have a muffin later." (I still have to enforce some sort of rule, right?)
Holden: (shows me he wants Golden Grahams)
I finish making the muffins while Holden happily eats his cereal. (or so I thought)
Muffins are done.
Holden: "Mom, I want a muffin."
I walk into where he's eating and only the milk is gone from the cereal.
Me: "I told you no muffin, go eat your cereal."
Holden: "I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnt a muffin!"
The story ends with sweet little Holden sitting on his bed in his room to think about how he treats his mother and me enjoying my blueberry muffins as God intended.
Holden still hasn't eaten the cereal or a muffin, so I can't wait to hear how hungry he'll be for lunch.
I know why parents lose their minds. I understand how the elderly get Alzheimer's, alert the scientists everywhere! If they can find a cure for their children so that they refrain from throwing temper tantrums and becoming possessed by unseen forces, then I'm sure that mental illness and old age mind loss will be a thing of the past. I'm starting to think that Alzheimer's is really just the parents way of getting back at their kids. (I realize this isn't the case and that it is actually a very serious disease, so don't write me about it... it's an attempt at humor)
So this morning I wake up with the intent that I'm going to actually make breakfast for everyone (in honor that my husband has the weekend off, very rare this time of year). I decide on blueberry muffins, because who doesn't like blueberry muffins? Well I'll try to reenact the morning:
Logan (the 9 yr old) is already awake and peacefully watching Saturday morning cartoons. I let the dog back in and she runs into Holden's room and I go in there because I was afraid she would wake him up.. too late, he's awake! Aw, my precious baby has his arms out to me and wants a hug to which I gladly give him. (sidenote: since he could talk, the 1st thing he has always said to us in the morning is "I'm hungry" ) So I gently pull him from his bed and I'm holding him when the inevitable is said: "I'm hungry". Well, since I actually have a plan for breakfast already I happily respond with "Mommy's making blueberry muffins!"
Holden: "I don't WAAAAAAAAAAnt blueberry muffins! I WAAAAAAAAAAnt something else"
Me: (calmly) "Well, that's what mommy's making."
Holden: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Me: (not as calmly) "Holden, that is what I'm making, you like blueberry muffins."
Holden: "NOOOOO IIIIIII DOOOOOOOON"T!"
Me: (Putting him down and walking out of his room) "I'm not listening to this, you get what you get and you don't throw a fit!"
Holden: (running after me and draping himself on my legs so I can't move) " I WAAAAAAAnt something else"
Me: (Yanking him off of me and sprinting into the living room) "Holden, you can't even tell me what you want and it doesn't matter because I'm making muffins."
Holden: " WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Me: (trying to ignore the tantrum but because I have pms I'm getting very annoyed and don't want to beat the child)
I begin to make the muffins...
Holden: "I don't waaaaaaant muffins, I waaaaaaant something else!"
Me: "If you keep this up we are not going to be able to get you signed up for t-ball."
Holden: (immediately the tears dry up and he perks up, looks to his brother who is enmeshed in the tv and is successfully blocking his little brother out)"Brother, I'm going to play t-ball! Brother... Brother..."
Me: "Answer HIM!"
Holden: (turning to me after he was satisfied with his brother's attention)"Please can I have something else?"
Me: "WHAT?"
Holden: "I want to show you."
Me: (taking a deep breath and giving in, why? Because I have pms and I need him to be quiet) "Holden, if you eat something else then you cannot have a muffin later." (I still have to enforce some sort of rule, right?)
Holden: (shows me he wants Golden Grahams)
I finish making the muffins while Holden happily eats his cereal. (or so I thought)
Muffins are done.
Holden: "Mom, I want a muffin."
I walk into where he's eating and only the milk is gone from the cereal.
Me: "I told you no muffin, go eat your cereal."
Holden: "I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnt a muffin!"
The story ends with sweet little Holden sitting on his bed in his room to think about how he treats his mother and me enjoying my blueberry muffins as God intended.
Holden still hasn't eaten the cereal or a muffin, so I can't wait to hear how hungry he'll be for lunch.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Oh, what to do?
I don't know what to do today, doo dah, doo dah, I don't know what to do today, oh a doo dah daaaaaay!
I'm running out of things to do with my children! School is starting VERY soon and I want to savor every minute with my kids before we have to go back to the real world. School starting means waking up at the break of dawn, exercising, getting lunches together, getting myself in the shower and getting all gussied up (for what?), waking up the kidlets, getting their breakfast and nagging them to eat and then nagging them to get dressed and brush their teeth. Making sure they have their all their school stuff, making sure I don't forget the car keys (which includes the house key because I don't know anything about getting us locked out of the house). Driving to school, going to work (which is another type of school- preschool) where I teach (babysit) 2 yr olds all day. Picking up from school, which means sitting in a friggin line 3 miles long because too many people live here. Homework (oh the horror!), dinner, clean up, showers, bedtime... and good lord - repeat the next day, etc and so on!
You see, I'm not too good at all that. I prefer the LAZY days of summer... wake up whenever the kids make me wake up. Fall out of bed, make their breakfast (if they eat, they eat if not they'll eat something else later) exercise (if I get around to it) do absoluetly nothing for a bit and then have fun with the kids the rest of the day. Well, we have been busy but it's an UNSCHEDULED kind of busy. Just a few more days of unscheduled bliss and then back to the ickiness of reality.
I really feel blessed to be able to spend time with my little guys and happy for all of it - I just don't want it to end... that's all!
I'm running out of things to do with my children! School is starting VERY soon and I want to savor every minute with my kids before we have to go back to the real world. School starting means waking up at the break of dawn, exercising, getting lunches together, getting myself in the shower and getting all gussied up (for what?), waking up the kidlets, getting their breakfast and nagging them to eat and then nagging them to get dressed and brush their teeth. Making sure they have their all their school stuff, making sure I don't forget the car keys (which includes the house key because I don't know anything about getting us locked out of the house). Driving to school, going to work (which is another type of school- preschool) where I teach (babysit) 2 yr olds all day. Picking up from school, which means sitting in a friggin line 3 miles long because too many people live here. Homework (oh the horror!), dinner, clean up, showers, bedtime... and good lord - repeat the next day, etc and so on!
You see, I'm not too good at all that. I prefer the LAZY days of summer... wake up whenever the kids make me wake up. Fall out of bed, make their breakfast (if they eat, they eat if not they'll eat something else later) exercise (if I get around to it) do absoluetly nothing for a bit and then have fun with the kids the rest of the day. Well, we have been busy but it's an UNSCHEDULED kind of busy. Just a few more days of unscheduled bliss and then back to the ickiness of reality.
I really feel blessed to be able to spend time with my little guys and happy for all of it - I just don't want it to end... that's all!
Monday, August 3, 2009
True Friendship
I had the pleasure of going and visiting my best friend of 25 years over the weekend. 25 years! How can that be when I still feel like that teenager that just met her. Her name is Chelle and she is wonderful. I left there with an understanding of what true friendship means and not because we've known each other so long but because we truly love each other. You can know someone for years and not have a bond with them. A true friend is someone who, regardless of what they get out of it, wants the other's happiness as much as their own. Seeing Chelle and her home, her husband and her children made me over the moon happy for her. Seeing how creative she is, sewing and decorating her home doesn't make me jealous... it makes me proud to know her. When I tell people about her and how long we've been friends, they often ask how we managed to remain so close. My answer - because neither of us has any expectation of the other except to just be who they are. We accept each other and wouldn't dream of changing a thing. (We're both pretty cool the way we are!)
Chell, if you happen to get this, thank you so much for everything... food and of course - your company. I love you!
Chell, if you happen to get this, thank you so much for everything... food and of course - your company. I love you!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
La La Land
It struck me today that there is are 2 different places in the mind of living. There is the place that you dream of, where everyone smiles at you, everyone understands what it is you're trying to communicate with them. No one cuts anyone off in traffic, people hold doors open for each other and children respect adults. I call this place La La Land. I often think that my problem is that I live there sometimes. The other place is called reality! I don't know if times are just changing so much that it keeps us from reaching out to each other but something's odd. Holden plays T-ball and I remember thinking to myself, (before we began) "Hey, here's a chance to make some friends." But the reality is that when you talk to people they sort of look at you like you're speaking a new language. I also noticed that if I didn't make the effort no one would speak. Everyone is in their own little world and it seems like they're afraid to let anyone in for fear it will interrupt their existence. I do this on purpose now... I wait a little to see if anyone will approach another and when the silence in the room is so thick I can't breathe I will be the one to release everyone from their bondage. I can't stand it! I want everyone to live life and get out of their comfort zones. You never know who you are going to meet or why you're there in that group or place. I want everyone to know that you may feel far from perfect and not think you're going to fit in or say the "right" thing, but screw that! No one says the right thing most of the time and everyone should just relax, forget about what others think and just BE!
Hell, I have PMS and I'm way too emotional about everything. I could just be really annoying and no one wants to talk to me!
Hell, I have PMS and I'm way too emotional about everything. I could just be really annoying and no one wants to talk to me!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Here I blow again...
Blow smoke that is, chat, vent or gab. Anyway you put it, I'm back. First, I just want to say I appreciate everyone that missed me or asked where I was. Nothing was wrong or anything. I just honestly took a break. It's been busy and I really haven't had time to blog. Matt's work schedule was pretty hard on all of us and I won't lie and say I didn't have a difficult time of it - it was getting rough. But we made it through and are no worse for the wear. Truthfully, (and I think I've mentioned this before) it gives me an appreciation that I'm not a single mom or that my husband is in the military and has to be away for months or years at a time. God bless all of them. They truly have my respect!
I'm happy about a couple of different things, 1. School is almost out!!! I'm not one of those mom's that relishes kids being away at school. I'm actually probably as bad as they are about not wanting to get out of bed and doing all that needs to be done to have a successful day. Such as making breakfast, making lunches, setting out clothes, brushing teeth, repeating all these things that need to be done about 75 times and wanting to pull out all of my hair by the time we leave. Besides, as fast as these boys are growing, I just want to be with them as much as I can.
2. Watching Holden play T-ball has been so much fun. (aside from the tantrums and driving and rain that has cancelled most of the games) Holden is really into it and good at it too. He actually seems to take it seriously and he's only 4. One of the other boys was trying to joke around with him and he was having none of it. I was afraid he was going to push the kid down because he wouldn't let Holden concentrate on the next play. So funny! And man can this child run! It's funny to hear someone ask "Who's kid is number 10?" and with a huge grin I reply,"That's my baby!" Yeah, I'm one of those moms. It the same way with Logan's comedic nature. When he makes someone laugh it makes me feel good about who he is, not to mention how freakishly smart he is. Which is probably the reason he's so funny.
Oh and last but not least, because Matt's hours have gone back to normal I have made it back into the gym. I love working out, it makes me feel so much better! I still have a way to go but at least I'm going!
So, I have a lot of catching up to do with everyone else's blogs, so I better get to it!
I'm happy about a couple of different things, 1. School is almost out!!! I'm not one of those mom's that relishes kids being away at school. I'm actually probably as bad as they are about not wanting to get out of bed and doing all that needs to be done to have a successful day. Such as making breakfast, making lunches, setting out clothes, brushing teeth, repeating all these things that need to be done about 75 times and wanting to pull out all of my hair by the time we leave. Besides, as fast as these boys are growing, I just want to be with them as much as I can.
2. Watching Holden play T-ball has been so much fun. (aside from the tantrums and driving and rain that has cancelled most of the games) Holden is really into it and good at it too. He actually seems to take it seriously and he's only 4. One of the other boys was trying to joke around with him and he was having none of it. I was afraid he was going to push the kid down because he wouldn't let Holden concentrate on the next play. So funny! And man can this child run! It's funny to hear someone ask "Who's kid is number 10?" and with a huge grin I reply,"That's my baby!" Yeah, I'm one of those moms. It the same way with Logan's comedic nature. When he makes someone laugh it makes me feel good about who he is, not to mention how freakishly smart he is. Which is probably the reason he's so funny.
Oh and last but not least, because Matt's hours have gone back to normal I have made it back into the gym. I love working out, it makes me feel so much better! I still have a way to go but at least I'm going!
So, I have a lot of catching up to do with everyone else's blogs, so I better get to it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
