Grocery Store Anxiety

I have it. It is a real and serious condition that I can no longer deny. I have recently postponed this event for as long as I can and tomorrow I have absolutely no choice, I have to go. I can only describe my hatred for this job as the utmost, flat-out worst thing ever. It's not like I can just walk into the store and be in and out with everything I need without a thought about what EVERYONE in my house likes to eat. It's not as if I don't have to make a list of meals and try to remember the cheapest ones I make without a thought about how sick I am of all of them. I've also been told that coupons can save you a ton of money, problem is, when I use them I end up spending more. (Hmmm...) I have a friend that also swears by keeping the ads from other stores and taking them to Wal-Mart because they price match. Um, no - unless I go really late or really early... well, not even then. Let's be honest, I'm not screwing with it. I have been that person in line behind the person with those ads and it's not pleasant. I mostly wanted to take a pack of gum (the chunky DoubleMint kind) and tag the cashier with it and say, "Look, just give her the package of Tyson chicken for heaven sake, she either doesn't speak english or she's pretending she doesn't speak english and you will never win this battle. My Ben and Jerry's is melting even though I visited the frozen foods last just so it would have a fighting chance before I got home and when ice cream melts and re-freezes it isn't the same!"
Going with kids is another problem in and of itself. While I look for what I need which is inevitably what they happen to be out of - I also have to yell at my kids every other minute because they are dancing around and bumping into other people or the little one is touching everything he can, knocking over several cans of green beans. I have actually just left my basket where it was and walked out trying to hold onto Holden's hand while he drops and uses his super power (which is turning his body into a glob-like form) dragging the glob while he is screaming, "I will mind! I will mind!" I also don't care about other people looking at me. I'd just love it if someone said something, bring it!
Something else that I've never been able to figure out... what's with new and improved? So, I have my list that it took me 4 hours (on and off) to make and now I have to decide on which Crest toothpaste I want? Do I want regular Crest that was just fine for many years of my life? Or how about the new and improved "Pro Health" that does 7 different things and will take years off my smile? Oh crap, just saw the Pro-Health Nighttime formula.
Wow, I wonder if I can put this off for another day? Probably not -
Lord, hear my prayer.