Not only am I F-A-T but my face is turning into it's own constellation of zits. Pretty soon the Big Dipper will be clearly visible. What the hell is going on? Oh, and my eyebrow hair grows faster than the hair on my head. I can't tweeze fast enough before I see more little hairs peering out of hiding. If this is a joke on a woman's humanity - I'm not laughing. Is it not enough that we are the ones that push another human being from our bodies and end up with various reminders of the blessed event? Is it not enough that we expose of bodily fluids once a month with all the aches and rage that goes with it? I swear, I feel like I'm falling apart for crying out loud. Oh, and my skin has become so dry that I could sand wood with it. I won't even talk about my feet! Well, yes I will. I bought one of those Pedi-eggs that sand the bottoms of your feet and I worked so feverishly on them that the next day I get out of bed and literally can't walk. I sanded so hard that my feet were raw. (yeah, ouch) I slather lotion on like I'm planning a trip to Mars and still - sand paper skin.
What is a girl to do? I'm sure if your a man then this is TMI... well all I have to say is suck it! I'll feel bad for you when you realize that the hair in your ears is longer than the hair on your head. When your wearing your 32 size jeans right above your hips because you no longer have a waist and you get kicked out of bed for farting in your sleep.
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2 comments:
Call Elaine. I'll come too. It sounds like you need an intervention:)
I think so too! love you Ann!
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