Thursday, May 7, 2009

La La Land

It struck me today that there is are 2 different places in the mind of living. There is the place that you dream of, where everyone smiles at you, everyone understands what it is you're trying to communicate with them. No one cuts anyone off in traffic, people hold doors open for each other and children respect adults. I call this place La La Land. I often think that my problem is that I live there sometimes. The other place is called reality! I don't know if times are just changing so much that it keeps us from reaching out to each other but something's odd. Holden plays T-ball and I remember thinking to myself, (before we began) "Hey, here's a chance to make some friends." But the reality is that when you talk to people they sort of look at you like you're speaking a new language. I also noticed that if I didn't make the effort no one would speak. Everyone is in their own little world and it seems like they're afraid to let anyone in for fear it will interrupt their existence. I do this on purpose now... I wait a little to see if anyone will approach another and when the silence in the room is so thick I can't breathe I will be the one to release everyone from their bondage. I can't stand it! I want everyone to live life and get out of their comfort zones. You never know who you are going to meet or why you're there in that group or place. I want everyone to know that you may feel far from perfect and not think you're going to fit in or say the "right" thing, but screw that! No one says the right thing most of the time and everyone should just relax, forget about what others think and just BE!
Hell, I have PMS and I'm way too emotional about everything. I could just be really annoying and no one wants to talk to me!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Here I blow again...

Blow smoke that is, chat, vent or gab. Anyway you put it, I'm back. First, I just want to say I appreciate everyone that missed me or asked where I was. Nothing was wrong or anything. I just honestly took a break. It's been busy and I really haven't had time to blog. Matt's work schedule was pretty hard on all of us and I won't lie and say I didn't have a difficult time of it - it was getting rough. But we made it through and are no worse for the wear. Truthfully, (and I think I've mentioned this before) it gives me an appreciation that I'm not a single mom or that my husband is in the military and has to be away for months or years at a time. God bless all of them. They truly have my respect!
I'm happy about a couple of different things, 1. School is almost out!!! I'm not one of those mom's that relishes kids being away at school. I'm actually probably as bad as they are about not wanting to get out of bed and doing all that needs to be done to have a successful day. Such as making breakfast, making lunches, setting out clothes, brushing teeth, repeating all these things that need to be done about 75 times and wanting to pull out all of my hair by the time we leave. Besides, as fast as these boys are growing, I just want to be with them as much as I can.
2. Watching Holden play T-ball has been so much fun. (aside from the tantrums and driving and rain that has cancelled most of the games) Holden is really into it and good at it too. He actually seems to take it seriously and he's only 4. One of the other boys was trying to joke around with him and he was having none of it. I was afraid he was going to push the kid down because he wouldn't let Holden concentrate on the next play. So funny! And man can this child run! It's funny to hear someone ask "Who's kid is number 10?" and with a huge grin I reply,"That's my baby!" Yeah, I'm one of those moms. It the same way with Logan's comedic nature. When he makes someone laugh it makes me feel good about who he is, not to mention how freakishly smart he is. Which is probably the reason he's so funny.
Oh and last but not least, because Matt's hours have gone back to normal I have made it back into the gym. I love working out, it makes me feel so much better! I still have a way to go but at least I'm going!
So, I have a lot of catching up to do with everyone else's blogs, so I better get to it!