Saturday, February 28, 2009


I don't know why but I can't get this topic out of head! The Lord must be needing me to write about this so I will.

Life is a funny thing. It is FULL of expectations, no matter what you're doing there is one of those beastly expectancies lurking in every corner waiting to disappoint you. Sometimes though if you manage to tell yourself often enough not to expect anything from someone or something, then you will often either be happily surprised or at the very least not surprised at all and that is better than any disappointment.
People are the worst at fulfilling an expectation because as soon as you begin to hope for the best in someone, they will always disappoint you. The same is true for ourselves, we will always disappoint someone else as well.
I have had the hardest time with people in general in the past and because the Lord has worked on me in this area I believe I have become much better at hoping for the best and not expecting anything so as to be either happily surprised or not surprised at all. God has taught me and has pushed it through my thick skull that He is the only one that will never disappoint me. It is too much of a burden to put on friends and family to "expect" that they will know what to do or be there when you need them, etc. I used to get so mad because I felt like I had no one to talk to and often felt sorry for myself. Which, don't get me wrong if it's the wrong time of the month I still do plenty of that but now I can get over it much easier.
I think the need to please others comes from a person's own expectations of themselves and really doesn't have much to do with others as it does expecting people to appreciate you and like you. When you don't receive your pats on the back you end up resentful and wondering why no one appreciates the kind of person you are.
Expectations followed by disappointments are so much a part of life that whether or not we realize it they happen all day, everyday. Realizing that God is the only one in this life that will never disappoint us is vital to surviving this world. He is our rope and harness as we rock climb this mountain of life.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Sister Update

First of all, thank you for your prayers. Melinda had surgery today in order for her lungs to drain all the junk in her lungs. The surgery went without a hitch (thank God) but she is in so much pain right now. Keep her in your prayers! I really appreciate it because I know it works!
On the lighter side of things, my other little sister (Kelly) and I went to the hospital last night to see her. It's almost a relief when you're sad about a loved one that is hurting to be able to laugh at some of the goings on in the other rooms. Last night I got a kick out of this lady, let's call her Pinky (she was wearing a pink robe). At first I wasn't quite sure if she was a patient or she worked there because she seemed to know her way around and looked like she was in charge. She had to have been a patient though because I don't know many people that go to work in their bathrobes (and she had on the standard hospital attire underneath). So, we are all outside waiting for the nurses to alleviate Melinda from having to get up every time she needed to go the the bathroom and I notice that Pinky is writing on the medical papers she had outside her room. Huh? Like I said, she had her run of the joint... must've been erasing something and writing in for better pain meds or something or scratching out her scheduled surgery for the next day, very weird. It made us laugh though and we needed it. Later I was out in the hall talking to my husband on the phone and out she comes with what looked like groceries. She trots herself into the little kitchen area and starts banging around in there for a bit, putting her things away. Hmmm, maybe she filled out her medical papers so she could have surgery and have extra pain meds because she needed some time off. Pinky's idea of a vacation. You never know, it takes all kinds!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Prayer Request

I would love it if everyone could say a prayer for my sister Melinda. She had to go into the hospital for pneumonia and is very sick. There has been good news after quite a scare, in which the doctors were checking for a blood clot and thankfully there wasn't anything like that. The pneumonia is pretty bad though and they will probably have to drain some of the fluid off of her lungs via some sort of needle. Yuck! I know in my heart that God is taking care of her and He is giving the doctors and nurses wisdom in treating her. Please pray for a quick recovery. She has beautiful twin girls and a son that need her to be well. So far she will have to be in the hospital for about 2 days. Thank you so much, I believe in the power of prayer. I love you Mel!

Not the Shy Sweet One

I know why parents lose their minds. I understand how the elderly get Alzheimer's, alert the scientists everywhere! If they can find a cure for their children so that they refrain from throwing temper tantrums and becoming possessed by unseen forces, then I'm sure that mental illness and old age mind loss will be a thing of the past. I'm starting to think that Alzheimer's is really just the parents way of getting back at their kids. (I realize this isn't the case and that it is actually a very serious disease, so don't write me about it... it's an attempt at humor)

So this morning I wake up with the intent that I'm going to actually make breakfast for everyone (in honor that my husband has the weekend off, very rare this time of year). I decide on blueberry muffins, because who doesn't like blueberry muffins? Well I'll try to reenact the morning:
Logan (the 9 yr old) is already awake and peacefully watching Saturday morning cartoons. I let the dog back in and she runs into Holden's room and I go in there because I was afraid she would wake him up.. too late, he's awake! Aw, my precious baby has his arms out to me and wants a hug to which I gladly give him. (sidenote: since he could talk, the 1st thing he has always said to us in the morning is "I'm hungry" ) So I gently pull him from his bed and I'm holding him when the inevitable is said: "I'm hungry". Well, since I actually have a plan for breakfast already I happily respond with "Mommy's making blueberry muffins!"
Holden: "I don't WAAAAAAAAAAnt blueberry muffins! I WAAAAAAAAAAnt something else"
Me: (calmly) "Well, that's what mommy's making."
Me: (not as calmly) "Holden, that is what I'm making, you like blueberry muffins."
Me: (Putting him down and walking out of his room) "I'm not listening to this, you get what you get and you don't throw a fit!"
Holden: (running after me and draping himself on my legs so I can't move) " I WAAAAAAAnt something else"
Me: (Yanking him off of me and sprinting into the living room) "Holden, you can't even tell me what you want and it doesn't matter because I'm making muffins."
Me: (trying to ignore the tantrum but because I have pms I'm getting very annoyed and don't want to beat the child)
I begin to make the muffins...
Holden: "I don't waaaaaaant muffins, I waaaaaaant something else!"
Me: "If you keep this up we are not going to be able to get you signed up for t-ball."
Holden: (immediately the tears dry up and he perks up, looks to his brother who is enmeshed in the tv and is successfully blocking his little brother out)"Brother, I'm going to play t-ball! Brother... Brother..."
Me: "Answer HIM!"
Holden: (turning to me after he was satisfied with his brother's attention)"Please can I have something else?"
Me: "WHAT?"
Holden: "I want to show you."
Me: (taking a deep breath and giving in, why? Because I have pms and I need him to be quiet) "Holden, if you eat something else then you cannot have a muffin later." (I still have to enforce some sort of rule, right?)
Holden: (shows me he wants Golden Grahams)
I finish making the muffins while Holden happily eats his cereal. (or so I thought)
Muffins are done.
Holden: "Mom, I want a muffin."
I walk into where he's eating and only the milk is gone from the cereal.
Me: "I told you no muffin, go eat your cereal."
Holden: "I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnt a muffin!"

The story ends with sweet little Holden sitting on his bed in his room to think about how he treats his mother and me enjoying my blueberry muffins as God intended.
Holden still hasn't eaten the cereal or a muffin, so I can't wait to hear how hungry he'll be for lunch.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

You Can't Please Everyone

Heaven knows, I've tried. I used to be the type of person that couldn't stand it if someone had an inkling of a negative thought about me. I would still rather have everyone think I'm the shiznit, however, it's exhausting to try and be something you're not. I've learned that once you're up on that pedastal of never wanting to disappoint someone that when you do, suddenly you're not the shiznit and nothing you can do will change it. You can try and rectify whatever it was that got you into trouble but it seems like the harder you work to please the more of a mess you make yourself. Learning to say no is one of the hardest things to do for some of us. I've always been envious of people that can just say no and never care about what kind of effect it has on others. I think that learning this technique is the ONLY good thing about getting older. It's not really that you don't care for others, it's about knowing your strengths and weaknesses. It's about caring about the effect on those closest to you, like my children and husband. It's also most importantly caring about the effects on yourself. Is it selfish to be this way? Maybe a little, but for the right reasons. I can say this for sure... if I say no to you it's because I want to be completely there for you when I say yes. I don't want to half-ass my efforts and be resentful and act like some sort of martyr. It has become a pet peeve of mine to hear people pleasers out there who after they've agreed to something, whine about how put out they always are and how no one else cares as much as they do. I can identify with this because that is what I'm trying to avoid in myself(which is probably why it bothers me). I don't want that for myself anymore. Come on everyone and join me! Say no to at least one thing a week, consider this a challenge. The world won't end, it won't rain fire and you won't be struck by lightning because you said no. You will have more free time to learn how to not feel guilty afterwards... and when you do (it will happen) - get over it! Freedom now!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

You Can't Handle the Truth!

One of the best lines in a movie. Jack Nicholson facing off with Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men. Love that movie!
It's also true for the most part. If someone asks you how you are and let's say you're not having the greatest day, do you really tell them how you're feeling? Or are you like me and say "Good", even though I don't really feel good at all. But really, no one wants to hear the truth. There are some people out there and you know who you are, they will tell their whole life story when you ask them how they are. These are the people I like to call "Debbie Downers". Not because I'm not concerned about them but because something is always wrong. You ask, "how are you" and the response will undoubtedly begin with "Ugh, I woke up late because my dog kept me up whining all night", and end with "Now, I have this terrible headache I can't get rid of", etc and so forth. So, even though I try and handle the truth, sometimes I just can't handle their truth.
Another form of the "truth" that can't be handled has been labeled by comedians and funny people everywhere - A woman asking her husband/boyfriend if she looks fat in whatever she's wearing. Really? I'm sure this happens because it wouldn't be used to describe women so frequently, however WHO DOES THIS? If you look fat in something it's because you are fat. It's certainly not because you're clothes are making you look that way and if they are making your fat look fatter, it's because you're in denial and buying the WRONG size. My husband can attest to me having never asked this question, I'm not a moron and I don't need him to tell me that I'm busting out of my jeans - I can feel it and see it for myself. So all of you ladies out there who can't handle the truth, don't ask the question!
The most important truth, it seems so many people are struggling with is that Jesus is our Saviour. He came to this earth and died on the cross so that we can have eternity with him. It seems that for whatever reason the times have changed so drastically that if you believe this, then you are not being inclusive. It's strange to me that people like Madonna who believe in Kabbalah or Richard Gere, who believes in Budda are somehow respected for these beliefs and left alone. The same isn't true for followers of Christ. It seems like if someone has faith in Jesus, then they are thought of as "Holy Rollers" or made fun of. Jesus told his followers that the road would be a hard one if they were going to follow Him. Matthew 5:11-12, "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in Heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
Jesus is the way, the TRUTH and the life!

Friday, February 13, 2009

I'm a Valentine Scrooge

I know that towards the end of my rant about this pink and red holiday that I may come across as being bitter, but I assure you I'm not... at least not anymore. Perhaps I was... many moons ago as a youngster in grade school and that's where my scroogieness began.
My son Logan is now in the 3rd grade, so I've been to my share of Valentine's parties. My other son, Holden just had his 1st taste of this holiday. They both love it, not because of the love but because of the all the sugar they will consume in an 8 hour time span. And so it goes... a "list" of all the students names will be sent home about a week in advance. Another list will be sent with it that gives me a choice of what kind of "treat" I should buy (not make, BUY). I get it, I might make something and then someone will get sick, yada, yada. Not sure that buying things anymore is such a great idea either it seems. Peanut paste anyone?
Well, back in the day... I remember a much different experience. 1st of all there wasn't a list sent home to the parents with ALL the students names. Excuse me? Where was the insight when I was in school? I busted my butt making my V-Day sack! I carefully glued my red and white doilies on and drew little hearts all around. I would then write my name in big bubble letters so everyone would see how to spell it (one l please). I would be so excited that next morning and could hardly wait to get to class and see how overflowing with valentines my sack would be. As I walked into the classroom all giddy with excitement and then approaching my sack to see how many people loved me and peering into it only to realize that 2 valentines were there, and one was from the weird kid in class. It was only until the teacher would announce that we would deliver our valentines during the party that my sadness would subside. I had more time and had 2 valentines to start with! I do have to say that back in the day a Valentine party was a PARTY. No fruit or veggies, SUGAR and lots of it. HOMEMADE sugar at that, cupcakes and cookies and candy... Oh my! So now, the moment of truth, our sacks! Well, it did have more cards and goodies in it this time but wait a minute? Don't we have like 25 kids in here? But I have only like 15 valentines? There must be some mistake... oh wait, here's a big one! Oh, it's from the teacher. This BITES! There was always the popular girl whose sack was really overflowing - Shelley Reid was the girl at my school, bleck! I still have it in for her!
Oh well, so Valentines Day isn't what it once was, too bad really. I think it built character to have your bubble letters burst. Everything is way too politcially correct these days. Heaven forbid if you don't give everyone a card and a treat. Don't make the party food - buy it!
I mean look at me now! I totally think this is one way overrated holiday and I'm saving my husband from the headache, not to mention the money. So what if I'm a Valentine Scrooge, I come by it fair and square!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Just a Suggestion

I will tell you right now that I was not an Obama fan but I'm trying to respect him as our President. I will try and listen with as much of an open mind as I can muster but irony is just not wasted on a mind like mine. I'm not sure if any of you read my comments on Oprah (the penny pinching self-improvement show she did) but I have a suggestion for her, a show idea if you will...
I think it would be fan-stinking-tabulous if she would have the whole current administration on her show with the whole senate and congress included. At the same time bring on all the "professionals" some might say "self-help gurus". I'm thinking the author of "The Secret" would be a great addition as well. The gurus would undoubtedly give the great advice they gave to all of us "Create a POSITIVE wish board!" Put up happy pictures and quotes of the way you "want" your life to go. Right? Or how about having the Penny Pinching family that was on the other day? They could go over our National Budget for them and start crossing off all that crap we don't need right now, Oh Happy Day! You would think this would be so easy since Obama and Oprah are BFF's. Doesn't he watch her show? Hmmm, maybe she gives him anxiety too.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

The Blog World

I have had so much fun writing on this blog and receiving such sweet comments from fellow bloggers. It's very tempting to create a world that only exists here on my blog but I've tried being honest about who I am. My outlook on certain situations is far from the way I would like to be but I know God is still working on me and I'm ok with that. I really want to be real and not pretend like I have everything under control because there are days when I am SO not in control of my feelings or thoughts. My life has been very full and I know God is looking out for me in so many ways. He blessed me with who could possibly be the best mom while I was growing up and still to this day she looks out for me and my sisters. My husband and I have had a rough road but we love each other and have been blessed with 2 wonderful boys. We both believe in commitment and that it's not so much about the warm fuzzy feeling than it is about being faithful to each other and to live God's plan for our lives. He intrusted us with these 2 boys and hopefully they will learn that even though life is hard at times that running away from problems isn't the way to go and there is too much good that would be missed if you give up. I want to be very real on my blog. I don't want anyone to think I have all the answers or just share all the happy times, so I've come up with some facts about who I am (so far).

1. I'm very sarcastic and sometimes even cynical in my thinking.
2. Although I am those things I try to find the good in everyone.
3. I trust until someone proves they can't be trusted and I have a very hard time trusting that person after that.
4. I find humor in almost everything (not tragedy though, by any means)
5. I learned a long time ago not to gossip and if I'm not comfortable telling someone how I feel to their face then I don't talk about it behind their back.
6. I don't know if I believe in being in-love, I believe that it takes work to live with another person and that love evolves into a greater feat of human strength.
7. I think that the love I have for my children is unexplainable and have an irrational fear of being taken away from them.
8. I have depression and take meds for it. I have very strong feelings about getting help for this condition and if you needs meds then by all means, take them! (Sorry Tom Cruise)
9. I have very few girlfriends and always wished that weren't the case. But I do have one of the greatest best friends anyone could hope for and she is a girl!
10. I've never understood why I haven't had close girlfriend relationships. It could be because I don't enjoy shopping, I LOVE football and would rather be watching the game than in the kitchen (not sure how that tradtion was started but it's a dumb one), I don't do drama (at all!), I think you should tell someone how you feel and then get over it and just accept each other because life is too short. (these are just a few reasons but I think I'm on to something)
11. I used to be very organized but am struggling with this now for some reason. I blame my husband - it has to be his fault somehow.
12. I sometimes secretly wish I could just spend a week at a hotel by myself, so I can rejuvenate my mind and soul.
13. I'm not perfect, won't claim to be and I want people to be able to relate to me. Which is why I don't like Martha Stewart, who has the time to do all that fussy crap she does?

Well, that's about it for now. I will write stories on here that are happy and some that aren't. I don't want others to try and fix my messes because that's God's job but I do appreciate advice and encouraging comments always. I love being a part of this world that is BLOG.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Look What I Got!

I received this award from Tim Thompson from his Fort Thompson blog! Since I'm new to blogging I am so honored to have been mentioned by him. He has very funny and sweet stories about his beautiful family that I truly enjoy reading. (And I'm not just saying that because he gave me an award!) Also, since I'm new I have no idea how to link to his blog as I've seen done on others blogs so I'll just post his blog address:

Thanks Tim!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Yes, I would like some cheese with my whine!

How the heck am I supposed to get of a rut when I keep being submerged in it? I know everyone is having money trouble but I DON'T WANT ANY MORE TROUBLE! I've had 2 calls today from collection agencies and no, I do not talk to them. I have a theory that whomever invented voicemail had strict intentions of avoiding these asinine people. They call and say "It's very important that you return my phone call" and they even have the audacity at times to use your first name as if they were calling on friendly terms. Not only did I receive these pleasant phone calls today but I also happened upon Oprah Winfrey's show today. Let me just say this, I used to like her very much and I still respect that she does very good things- but for Pete's sake, how many self-improvement shows can someone do? Damn, if I had her money then there wouldn't be a problem that taking off and ending up on a beach wouldn't cure. Today's show was all about finances and how people could save money in this tough economy. I'm sorry but the irony of Oprah's wealth and her having a discussion on how I can penny pinch my way to wealth wasn't wasted on me. I think I was a penny pincher in a past life I'm so accustomed to it and frankly Oprah, you're shows give me anxiety.
I hope I speak for all penny pinchers everywhere when I say "Kiss my penny pinching butt Oprah!"