Wednesday, February 18, 2009

You Can't Please Everyone

Heaven knows, I've tried. I used to be the type of person that couldn't stand it if someone had an inkling of a negative thought about me. I would still rather have everyone think I'm the shiznit, however, it's exhausting to try and be something you're not. I've learned that once you're up on that pedastal of never wanting to disappoint someone that when you do, suddenly you're not the shiznit and nothing you can do will change it. You can try and rectify whatever it was that got you into trouble but it seems like the harder you work to please the more of a mess you make yourself. Learning to say no is one of the hardest things to do for some of us. I've always been envious of people that can just say no and never care about what kind of effect it has on others. I think that learning this technique is the ONLY good thing about getting older. It's not really that you don't care for others, it's about knowing your strengths and weaknesses. It's about caring about the effect on those closest to you, like my children and husband. It's also most importantly caring about the effects on yourself. Is it selfish to be this way? Maybe a little, but for the right reasons. I can say this for sure... if I say no to you it's because I want to be completely there for you when I say yes. I don't want to half-ass my efforts and be resentful and act like some sort of martyr. It has become a pet peeve of mine to hear people pleasers out there who after they've agreed to something, whine about how put out they always are and how no one else cares as much as they do. I can identify with this because that is what I'm trying to avoid in myself(which is probably why it bothers me). I don't want that for myself anymore. Come on everyone and join me! Say no to at least one thing a week, consider this a challenge. The world won't end, it won't rain fire and you won't be struck by lightning because you said no. You will have more free time to learn how to not feel guilty afterwards... and when you do (it will happen) - get over it! Freedom now!

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