Tim from Fort Thompson has started a new item for us bloggers called "Oldies but Goodies". I am to find an old post and repost it for any of you who haven't seen it. I chose "Not the Shy Sweet One" because I will be waking my little monsters up again for school soon and will inevitably be dealing with this at some point. It makes me laugh to remember this one, hope you get a smile from it too!
I know why parents lose their minds. I understand how the elderly get Alzheimer's, alert the scientists everywhere! If they can find a cure for their children so that they refrain from throwing temper tantrums and becoming possessed by unseen forces, then I'm sure that mental illness and old age mind loss will be a thing of the past. I'm starting to think that Alzheimer's is really just the parents way of getting back at their kids. (I realize this isn't the case and that it is actually a very serious disease, so don't write me about it... it's an attempt at humor)
So this morning I wake up with the intent that I'm going to actually make breakfast for everyone (in honor that my husband has the weekend off, very rare this time of year). I decide on blueberry muffins, because who doesn't like blueberry muffins? Well I'll try to reenact the morning:
Logan (the 9 yr old) is already awake and peacefully watching Saturday morning cartoons. I let the dog back in and she runs into Holden's room and I go in there because I was afraid she would wake him up.. too late, he's awake! Aw, my precious baby has his arms out to me and wants a hug to which I gladly give him. (sidenote: since he could talk, the 1st thing he has always said to us in the morning is "I'm hungry" ) So I gently pull him from his bed and I'm holding him when the inevitable is said: "I'm hungry". Well, since I actually have a plan for breakfast already I happily respond with "Mommy's making blueberry muffins!"
Holden: "I don't WAAAAAAAAAAnt blueberry muffins! I WAAAAAAAAAAnt something else"
Me: (calmly) "Well, that's what mommy's making."
Me: (not as calmly) "Holden, that is what I'm making, you like blueberry muffins."
Holden: "NOOOOO IIIIIII DOOOOOOOON"T!"
Me: (Putting him down and walking out of his room) "I'm not listening to this, you get what you get and you don't throw a fit!"
Holden: (running after me and draping himself on my legs so I can't move) " I WAAAAAAAnt something else"
Me: (Yanking him off of me and sprinting into the living room) "Holden, you can't even tell me what you want and it doesn't matter because I'm making muffins."
Holden: " WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Me: (trying to ignore the tantrum but because I have pms I'm getting very annoyed and don't want to beat the child)
I begin to make the muffins...
Holden: "I don't waaaaaaant muffins, I waaaaaaant something else!"
Me: "If you keep this up we are not going to be able to get you signed up for t-ball."
Holden: (immediately the tears dry up and he perks up, looks to his brother who is enmeshed in the tv and is successfully blocking his little brother out)"Brother, I'm going to play t-ball! Brother... Brother..."
Me: "Answer HIM!"
Holden: (turning to me after he was satisfied with his brother's attention)"Please can I have something else?"
Holden: "I want to show you."
Me: (taking a deep breath and giving in, why? Because I have pms and I need him to be quiet) "Holden, if you eat something else then you cannot have a muffin later." (I still have to enforce some sort of rule, right?)
Holden: (shows me he wants Golden Grahams)
I finish making the muffins while Holden happily eats his cereal. (or so I thought)
Muffins are done.
Holden: "Mom, I want a muffin."
I walk into where he's eating and only the milk is gone from the cereal.
Me: "I told you no muffin, go eat your cereal."
Holden: "I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnt a muffin!"
The story ends with sweet little Holden sitting on his bed in his room to think about how he treats his mother and me enjoying my blueberry muffins as God intended.
Holden still hasn't eaten the cereal or a muffin, so I can't wait to hear how hungry he'll be for lunch.